beforethedarkness | Voicemail (2013 Run)

Fuck. So. The rest of the Shinobi are here.

They know I, uh, lost you.

ANSWERING WOULD BE EXCELLENT NOW.

[After a few days Sasuke finally checks his gear again, just as he's crossing the threshhold into Mahogany Town. At the time he's a little worn and tired, but with a new pokémon in the box and a sudden desire to see if everyone lost their heads over his disappearing...

31 new messages. All of them from Obito.

That brings out a heavy sigh and he goes to the inn in town, settling there before finally responding.]

I don't want to be near you or anyone from Konoha right now. Leave me alone.

[After a bit, another text arrives.]

I saw Sakura and sent her a message already.

You're okay!!!! No one kidnapped you? You're not hurt? Did you get all my messages? Are you mad? I'm really sorry!

I'm so glad you didn't vanish too.

No one kidnapped me. I want to be alone.

Being alone doesn't help. You might think it does but it never will, and I gave you way more space but I thought you'd be happier with Tenten than me around. I didn't think you'd up and run off!

I know that it won't help. The people of Konoha knew that too.

I don't want to be near any of you.

Don't you dare lump me in with the pack of people who were around to do something about it Sasuke! Just because I had my head up my ass after you saw Itachi doesn't mean I would've when you were a brat! You're nowhere near as much of an asshole as a huge chunk of the family, and I don't doubt I would've loved you just as much as I love Itachi, so you don' get to decide I'm suddenly like everyone else!

Then tell me this. Do you still feel loyalty to the village who gave the order for your entire family to be killed, which would have included you if you had lived through that battle?

Do you not GET it Sasuke? My loyalty is to people. My Sensei is Hokage so yeah, I have loyalty to those people, and I hate to break it to you, but the only ones who ever gave a flying fuck about me in our family were Itachi, little Shisui, Aunty Mikoto, and you, alright? Kushina-nee listened more to my problems than my mom ever did, and Sensei actually taught me more about life than my dad, so yeah, I'm more fond of the village, because more of them didn't treat me like I wasn't good enough for all their pretensions! I've tried to be sensitive about this whole thing because it hurt you, and it hurt me too, but my list of people I give a fuck about isn't as long as you probably wish it was, and most of those people aren't Uchiha.

Those people are the same ones who abandoned me and left me alone when I had lost everything.

Maybe you can stay loyal to Konoha, but my home was never there. Not when that village took away everything.

No they aren't. The only people on my list that I've heard even LIVED to see that day are Kakashi, who has always been an emotionally constipated dick, and Itachi. Did you skip over the whole first part where I said my loyalty was to PEOPLE?

[He has to take a few minutes to calm the hell down because this is going no where. He really, really wants to hurt Obito for this right about now though...]

What if something you were supposed to be loyal to took everything. What if that something killed them all, then left you to rot in loneliness after. You could never understand that pain.

Don't talk to me again.

If that happened... I dunno. I'd never forgive them but I don't know beyond that, most of those who went after me weren't content to leave me alone. I'm not going to stop talking to you cousin, because I think we're having the exact same argument, and you're assuming that my Konoha and yours are the same. Mine was run by Namikaze Minato... and yours wasn't. I think that makes a bigger difference than you want to even think about, but don't hate me because of that, and don't scorn me because of that, because I'm stubborn, just like you, and I've decided YOU matter to me, so no way am I gonna up and just... let you alone. I did that and all it caused was this, so no. Especially not when your big argument is that they did JUST THAT.

I'm not coming back.

I'm not like you. I didn't have those kinds of people. The ones I did were taken. The ones who tried didn't come until they were forced to be with me. Including you. I don't care if it wasn't your fault or not.

I can't go back to that place. It might be ideal for you, but to me it's no better than poison.

WHEN DID I SAY TO GO BACK TO KONOHA?! I was never forced to be with you. I had options okay? I could have taken off with my partner but I decided to stay and get to know you. So no, you're not an obligation to me so don't you dare GO THERE SASUKE. The Uchiha name is NOT ENOUGH to make me do that for anyone. And if you're gonna rub being dead in my face, then you have a whole hell of a lot of people to bitch at other than me, I can't go back to Konoha. Those dreams are dust now, nothing more than fantasies I gave up to save a teammate who had more things wrong with his head than anyone I've ever met. But I did it anyway, because he mattered to me. Now I'm here, and I'm gonna make this place home because I'm not gonna get a third option Sasuke. Right now, I have some people who are home, and you're one of em, or did I somehow miss getting across that I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU?

You're an idiot.

You think that just because you're here now, that's supposed to magically take away all of the loneliness and pain I've suffered for years? How could you possibly replace what I've lost?

Your logic is so broken! YOU DON'T. No, I can't take away what happened before. No, I can't expect you to be okay with it. NO I CAN'T SAY THAT I CAN REPLACE ANYTHING. I'm saying I'm here now, and you're not ALONE anymore. Are you getting this at all? I'm not saying I can fix the past. I'm saying that your future doesn't have to be more of the same.

You could never understand.

I don't want to see you or anyone else from Konoha. Otherwise I would have told you where I was by now.

I haven't asked where you are either now am I? But unless you plan on never looking in a mirror again, or talking to even Itachi, then you can't avoid anyone who ever had a part in Konoha forever. I can wait around until you decide to wander back this way on your own, but you WILL know that I'm gonna be here, and I'm still gonna message you and check on you, because I care, and I want you to be okay. Whether you approve or not.

Why care.

I'm past your time. I'm someone you've never met before. I'm someone who's wanted nothing but the death of your favourite cousin for years. And you said yourself that the fact that I'm Uchiha wouldn't make you care any more or less.

You have no reason to care about me at all.

I decided to get to know you and I liked what I saw. You're a bit of the good parts of a family that clearly loved you, and who wouldn't want to learn more about that, be close to someone who was shaped by that kind of love?

It's a shallow opening reason but it was still enough of one that I decided to get to know you and what can I say?

I got attached. I like you, I care about you, and Uchiha love for life so it's not like it's gonna ever change now that it's a thing. Sorry it's not some big grand reason, but it's what I got.

[He's staring at the message, his eye twitching before he heaves out a sigh. It's getting to him too much... And he doesn't like it. At all.

It changes to voice suddenly, and he's speaking quietly -- whatever town music might be there is drowned out by the lullaby channel on the radio too, so even if Sasuke isn't drowning it out it's still impossible to discern his location.]

I need time.

Leave me alone until I figure it out. I don't want to see anyone until I do.

I'll be around whenever you need me cousin. [His voice was quiet too, a little rough because of his back and forth emotions and his forcing them to stay kinda level for Shino while he texted with Sasuke, but apparent anyway.]

I'll send you messages from time to time, but I'm not gonna chase you, okay?

... Fine.

[His relief was almost tangible.]

Thank you.

Voicemail (2013 Run)

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