[Despite her racing mind, she knows what to say to that.]

So don't. [Forgive or go back--which does she mean? Both.] When you go back, leave. Retire from your squad and leave. Live your life the way you want to and don't give them anything else. [She glances out to the waves, remembering something, before she continues.] But while you're here, don't think about it. You'll just make things worse for yourself.