... One person did. But he didn't start trying to until I was twelve, almost thirteen. He wasn't there until he was assigned to lead our squad.

[Meaning that, until very recently... It was all he knew. Vengeance really was his only reason to be alive. Without it... He's essentially told Lightning that he'd be completely lost without it before. So now? Now he doesn't know what he'll do. At all.

So when she asks that question, she gets him shaking his head in response initially.]

... I don't know.